Love

Recently i came across a wonderful website – http://zenpencils.com/

This site uses cartoons to inspire people.

One of my favorite posts from this site is based on a quote by C.S.Lewis

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

To love at all
Link – To love at all

This post scared me because I have been keeping myself in a shell for so long that I can’t even remember when was the last time I had let anyone come close to me without being afraid. Now I realize that over the years, whoever came close had to leave me because they found no way to penetrate my protective shell.

I did a great job in keeping myself safe from getting hurt. But after reading this quote, i am afraid that my heart will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable forever.

Then I started hoping that like in this story, my prince charming will come and fix my broken heart.

Today I realize that won’t work either. I am not a damsel in distress waiting for My Mario to come hopping over dangers and rescue me. If I can’t come out of my shell, no one can bring me out. It’s like the baby bird coming out of its shell. It has to struggle and breakthrough. If anyone helps from outside, the baby bird won’t be strong enough to survive and die once it’s outside the shell. So, I have to work and become strong enough to come out of my shell.

Only thing that helps me is the faith that my love will be waiting for me outside.

Until next time,
ShyBookworm

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My First Blog

Yesterday I came across a new word – Pistanthrophobia. It is fear of trusting people. I found the list of things we fear the most –
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of being ridiculed
• Fear of failure
• Fear of being wrong
• Fear of committing ourselves and having to follow through
• Fear of being taken advantage of

I realized that I could identify with all of them. And then I realized something else too – that I was not alone. If I can find this list so easily on 2nd or 3rd result by Google, that means it’s pretty common.
So, I decided to take the most trusted approach to cure my fear – facing it.

This idea of having an open diary is a result of that. I realize that I don’t have close people with whom I can talk but everyone needs someone to talk to. Technology has been blamed to bring distance in relationships. I want to see if technology can help a shy, introvert girl in overcoming her fears.

I have no plans how often I will post in this blog. But I know I will post hoping somewhere someone will read it and feel like they can relate to it.

Until next time,
ShyBookworm