12th Feb – Promise Day
I wish a hug would say what I never could.
I wish I could hug you and go to a place where everything is right, where no one is hurting, where there is no pain.
I wish to hug you so tight that all the broken pieces will join back.
I wish I would never let go.
So today I would just imagine and hope you would too.
Happy Hug Day
Until next time,
ShyBookworm
11th Feb – Promise Day
I promise never to forget your smile.
I promise never to hurt you again.
I promise to pray for your happiness everyday.
I promise I’ll learn to love again, to smile again, to live again.
I promise I wont hide away in my shell.
But one promise I need from you.
Please promise you will take care of yourself.
Happy Promise Day
Until next time,
ShyBookworm
10th Feb – Teddy Day
A Teddy is a girl’s best friend. Comforting her in her childhood. Saving her from monsters under her bed. A reminder of love of her parents or close ones.
As she grows up, it becomes a gift of love from someone special. Someone who cherishes her inner child. The teddy becomes the symbol of love and compassion. A companion in her loneliness.
It watches her every day. It sees her working, it sees her smiling while thinking of her special one. It sees her crying for her lost love and becomes a reminder of the fondest memories.
A teddy becomes a part of her life.
This Teddy Day, I just want you to remember all the moments spent with your teddy.
Happy Teddy Day
Until next time,
ShyBookworm
9th Feb – Chocolate Day
Dark, White or Bitter – Chocolate always attracts. And we cant resist its sinfully pleasurable temptation.
This Chocolate day I wish you to have a life like a chocolate box. Some portions Crunchy, Some Nutty while Some Soft. But all Delicious.
Happy Chocolate Day
Until next time,
ShyBookworm
8th Feb – Propose Day
I am wondering, what can I say on Propose Day.
I can’t ask for marriage or love – as that’s something that could never be mine.
I can’t ask for friendship – as that can’t live amidst broken dreams.
What I want today is serenity. A lingering calm when I look back and imagine your smile.
The biggest ‘What If’ to stop tormenting me. The disappointment of giving up without even trying.
Today I propose to let go. To let go of all the ‘What Ifs’ and the Disappointments, of all the times when I wished you would say what I wanted to hear.
Today I propose a new beginning for both of us. A new beginning to discover ourselves, to find the love we need in our own souls. To fall in love with ourselves – today and every day from today.
Happy Propose Day
Until next time,
ShyBookworm
I think we all have someone with whom we want to write a different ending. Maybe someone who died too soon, leaving many thing unspoken. Or maybe a love story, where you wish for a different ending.
I too have a lost love story. A story which ended before starting. A story where more words were left unsaid than spoken.
So, this week before valentine day’s, I have decided to dedicate each day to him and say everything that I would have said if we were together.
7th Feb – Rose Day
Red Rose to say how much I love and respect you.
![6roses-1[1060]](https://myfirstopendiary.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/6roses-11060.jpg)
Yellow Rose is for friendship.
Pink Rose shows my gratitude for everything you did for me.
White Rose signifies purity and innocence.
Six roses tell you how much I need you
With these roses I wish you a Happy Rose Day.
Until next time,
ShyBookworm
Recently i came across a wonderful website – http://zenpencils.com/
This site uses cartoons to inspire people.
One of my favorite posts from this site is based on a quote by C.S.Lewis
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.”
C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Link – To love at all
This post scared me because I have been keeping myself in a shell for so long that I can’t even remember when was the last time I had let anyone come close to me without being afraid. Now I realize that over the years, whoever came close had to leave me because they found no way to penetrate my protective shell.
I did a great job in keeping myself safe from getting hurt. But after reading this quote, i am afraid that my heart will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable forever.
Then I started hoping that like in this story, my prince charming will come and fix my broken heart.
Today I realize that won’t work either. I am not a damsel in distress waiting for My Mario to come hopping over dangers and rescue me. If I can’t come out of my shell, no one can bring me out. It’s like the baby bird coming out of its shell. It has to struggle and breakthrough. If anyone helps from outside, the baby bird won’t be strong enough to survive and die once it’s outside the shell. So, I have to work and become strong enough to come out of my shell.
Only thing that helps me is the faith that my love will be waiting for me outside.
Until next time,
ShyBookworm
Yesterday I came across a new word – Pistanthrophobia. It is fear of trusting people. I found the list of things we fear the most –
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of being ridiculed
• Fear of failure
• Fear of being wrong
• Fear of committing ourselves and having to follow through
• Fear of being taken advantage of
I realized that I could identify with all of them. And then I realized something else too – that I was not alone. If I can find this list so easily on 2nd or 3rd result by Google, that means it’s pretty common.
So, I decided to take the most trusted approach to cure my fear – facing it.
This idea of having an open diary is a result of that. I realize that I don’t have close people with whom I can talk but everyone needs someone to talk to. Technology has been blamed to bring distance in relationships. I want to see if technology can help a shy, introvert girl in overcoming her fears.
I have no plans how often I will post in this blog. But I know I will post hoping somewhere someone will read it and feel like they can relate to it.
Until next time,
ShyBookworm
Open Diary 